


prayers for something perfect

by stellare



Category: Glee
Genre: Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-25
Updated: 2014-05-25
Packaged: 2018-01-26 12:17:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 807
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1688084
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stellare/pseuds/stellare
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It wasn’t like fireworks, loud and showy and setting off palpitations in his heart. It was like candelight, quiet and delicate and so, so wonderful.</p>
            </blockquote>





	prayers for something perfect

**Author's Note:**

> Nothing new here, just backlogging from tumblr.

He doesn’t remember when it happened. It probably wasn’t a singular event. It probably happened slowly, over time.

-

In fact it doesn’t even cross his mind until Adam brings it up first.

It’s nothing dramatic. No heartfelt speech, no watching a romantic movie and gazing into his eyes at the most important parts. It’s just the two of them in the loft with the Rent soundtrack playing on Kurt’s phone.

It’s dreary and cold outside, and Kurt’s chattering about how excited he is for the upcoming Apples performance at the campus cafe, and Adam’s just sitting there on the windowsill smiling at him. Then, Adam leans over to fog up the windowpane with his breath to write “I love you” in the condensation and Kurt nearly drops his tea.

“I love you,” Adam says, as if he hadn’t just written the exact same thing on the glass. His voice is so soft, so tender. It sounds like home. “I love you so much that it honest to God hurts sometimes.”

-

It’s not a surprise when he thinks about it. Adam’s never shied away from doling out care for him, whether it’s through support for Kurt’s various school endeavors or just the looks of adoration when Kurt is doing the most mundane things (practicing dance moves comes to mind).

They’ve always gotten along so well, so familiar and comfortable. Kurt doesn’t have to try around Adam. He doesn’t have to strain to get his voice heard, and he doesn’t have to tone anything down. He just has to  _be_.

And Adam sees that, sees him, and still that affectionate look in his eyes persists.

Adam doesn’t have to try either - he’s seen all of Adam’s faces, heard every complaint, every praise, every laugh-rant-snort-accented word and adores all of it.

Adores all of  _him_. He and Adam, the two of them, they just -

They fit.

_Oh_. 

And in that single moment, after that thought - it slowly rolls over him. Clarity, in spades.

It’s not a sudden rush of feelings - the feelings have been there. It’s like blinders coming off.

-

He’s not used to how easy this is.

He’s used to the fireworks, the crash, the loud and the showy and the burning to a fizzle to set off palpitations in his heart. He’s used to the drama.

This is nothing like that. This is quiet, like candlelight. Mellow and understated and delicate but so, so wonderful. He feels warm, appreciated, complete.

It’s so subtle that he didn’t recognize it at first.

But he doesn’t say it back, not right away.

He waits until he’s had time to think. He waits until he concludes that maybe that time wasn’t for  _thinking_  as much as  _realizing_  what he should have suspected.

He’s a romantic. He wants to say it at the right moment - at a lovely dinner, maybe. But of course it doesn’t work out that way.

To his credit he does wait until they’re alone again. They’re sitting together on the fire escape of Adam’s apartment in Hoboken, watching as the dark gray clouds traverse the night sky, holding hands in their bizarre little way with Adam’s pinky and thumb on the back of Kurt’s fingers, and that’s when Kurt says it back.

He didn’t intend to say it right then and there, but it just happens. Adam looks at him a little breathless, asks him to repeat. He’s almost too afraid to. He almost wants to take it back. But he can’t do that to Adam. And if Adam can bear to be so open and honest with him, so can he. So he repeats, earnest and vulnerable.

Then Adam’s lips brush his eyelids, dot the tip of his nose, and press feather-light kisses to his mouth, and Kurt melts a little bit.

And when the moonbeams gently set Adam’s smiling eyes aglow, ultimately he’s glad he did say it - maybe saying it this way was kind of perfect.

-

It had snuck up on him, and he hadn’t even realized. But it’s steady, and strong. Stable. It’s exactly what he needs in his life. What he wants, really, in the deepest, most honest recesses of his heart.

So he can’t pinpoint a specific moment. Not their first meeting at the bulletin board, not that day when Kurt had asked for his number, not even that afternoon in the dance studio after the storm - although that day had definitely set things in motion.

But maybe it was the chats in the NYADA halls, the visits to each other’s apartments for baked goods, the Apples rehearsals, the gentle smiles. Maybe it was then. Maybe it was during all of those little things that he knew. Maybe he kind of always knew, and it just took a while to realize - he could fall in love with Adam, no problem.

And sure enough.


End file.
